Standing beside my daughters during my recent speaking engagements in Penghu and Hualien, I experienced something remarkable. As they helped with photography, joined book signings, and participated in post-event dinners, I witnessed their first real taste of working alongside Dad. While traveling with children requires more planning and patience, seeing my daughters stand beside me on stage filled me with pride and joy. In that moment, I realized I was teaching them life's most valuable lessons not through words, but through shared experiences.
During dinner after my Penghu presentation, an educator noticed my interaction with my daughter and her composed demeanor. "Given your age (I'm 52) and your children being so young (my eldest is 11), did you marry later in life?" they asked.
I paused, lowering my voice to ensure my daughter wouldn't hear, and shared something I rarely discuss: "In fact, we had never really considered having children. It wasn't something we thought we wanted."
This revelation recently came up in conversation with a friend who, like I once did, doesn't plan on having children. Their curiosity about what changed my mind and how parenthood transformed my life inspired me to share this story.
Let me begin with two simple truths: First, my children have made me a better person in ways I never imagined possible. Second, to my friend and others who might be uncertain about parenthood - without children, you truly can't comprehend the depth of what you might be missing in life.
Life Before Children
For years, my wife and I had built a comfortable life together. We traveled freely, enjoyed quiet evenings at home, and found companionship in our dog. Life felt complete, in its own way. I had little patience with children and couldn't imagine myself as a father. Between my career uncertainties and our contentment with our lifestyle, parenthood seemed like an unnecessary complication.
The Gradual Shift
At 36, we approached a crossroads. It wasn't a sudden change of heart, but rather a quiet realization that we were nearing an age where having children might no longer be an option. Watching friends progress through marriage to parenthood, hearing their children call me "Uncle," stirred something deep within. I began wondering not just "What if we had children?" but "Would we regret this decision when we're older?"
This wasn't about having children to care for us in our later years - I've always believed children should live their own lives. Instead, it was about the possibility of missing out on a profound life experience.
A Legacy of Love
Now, watching my daughters grow, I understand parenting isn't just about raising children - it's about continuing a legacy of love and care. Each time I comfort a scraped knee or celebrate a small victory, I remember my own parents' countless acts of devotion. Those late-night feedings, the sleepless nights when my child was sick, and the overwhelming love that followed - each moment helped me truly understand my parents' sacrifices.
This revelation transformed how I view parenting. While we can never fully repay our parents for their care, we can honor their love by passing it forward to the next generation. It's a beautiful cycle of giving and receiving that connects past, present, and future.
Life's Unexpected Gifts
These past weekends, choosing to slow down and travel with my daughters instead of rushing through my usual routine, taught me something valuable. While everything took longer, the joy and meaning multiplied exponentially. When my daughter asked, "Daddy, do people know how lucky I am?" I replied, "Happiness isn't about comparison - we're grateful for our blessings." What I kept to myself was an even deeper truth: "Thank you, my dear children, for making my life richer, fuller, and more meaningful than I ever imagined possible."
Parenthood wasn't in my original life plan, but it has become the most transformative journey of my existence. It hasn't just changed what I do - it's changed who I am, teaching me patience, unconditional love, and the profound joy of nurturing another human being.
No comments:
Post a Comment